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How to Build Self Love and Confidence

How To Build Self Love And Confidence

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Humanity has reached a high point of society. We have supermarkets, cellular phones, and a plethora of occupations. Yet, many people in society feel the lack of purpose in the daily rat race. Some people just deal with that low self-esteem, growing bitter and resentful. Those less fortunate turn to suicide, drug abuse or hurting others.

The answer on how to build self-confidence seems too simple to be practical: love yourself. When you love yourself, you carry your life to a different tune. You act from a place that the majority cannot understand, because they are familiar with the external, unfulfilling activity of the modern world.

You can learn how to build self love and confidence very quickly. While you could take self help classes and read dozens of books, nothing will change unless you learn how to improve self-concept. Here are a few self-confidence tips to begin changing your mindset and habits internally to generate self love.

5 Ways to Improve Self-Esteem

1. Let Go of Your Baggage

We develop our identity early in life. What we absorb during those first few years has a humongous impact on our self image. These influences are solidified in the egos each passing day. If we have been subjected to verbal abuse or have always been talked down to, we tacitly accept that we deserve that treatment from everyone. The same goes for other abusive behaviors as well.

It is important to let go of your baggage. If you have been trying to practice self love and build confidence in your abilities without success, the problem could be a subconscious pattern that is blocking emotional progress. Guided meditation, hypnotherapy, and inner child work are a few methods that can excavate those negative thought patterns and reveal them to your conscious awareness for healing.

2. Accept Who You Are Without Judgment

You can only be who you are. Learn to accept that fact and to embrace who you are in all of your glory.

Mainstream society pushes the image of the perfect body, the perfect lifestyle, the perfect blah. We see it on a screen and immediately think that is how reality functions. But human beings are not perfect at all. In fact our imperfections and quirks are what makes us such a novel species!

Embrace yourself by writing a list of things you like about yourself and have gratitude for. Detail your talents, your hair, your height, anything that you know or feel proud to be. Refuse the tendency to judge yourself are based on external perceptions.

3. Give Yourself Credit, Trust Your Abilities

This is especially important for people who were surrounded by parents, authorities or “friends” who always recommended they “get a degree,” “go to school to learn XYZ,” or any other frankly limiting advice. They may have been looking out for you, but they also are not helping you to grow or think for yourself.

You have to learn to give yourself credit for the things that you can do. If you can fix a kitchen sink, that is amazing! Can you paint an entire wall Michelangelo-style? Awesome! Public speaking, organizing events with your friends, bookkeeping, tutoring and counselling youth are all skills that do not require a “professional degree.” Be confident that you can learn any skill that you may need in the future.

The goals you have reached in the past are equally important. Take time out of the day to list what accomplishments you have made in your life. See what comes up and how you feel about your own achievements. Did you need help? Did others share your enthusiasm?

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4. Learn to Say “NO”

In making your accomplishments list, a goal may have arisen that you thought, “Well, I didn’t want to do that.” This leads to the next tip: Learn to say “NO” to people who ask you to do things that go against your will. Parents do this often to their children, withholding their parental love until their child “proves” themselves capable in some manner. But clearly this does not help the child develop any self love.

When you tell others “NO”, you are not screaming at them or ruining their lives. You are simply deciding that what they asked of you is not what you want to do. Unless you signed a contract, you are not obligated under any circumstances to do anything for anyone, even your parents. This tip is hard for people at first, because we are so conditioned to act against our will from very early in life.

However, saying “NO” means you have time for the activities you do want to accomplish. Respect your body and your attention by denying others control over it. You will discover who has been using you for free favors, as those people suddenly start vanishing from your life. You will bump into people who agree with you in sentiment and passion as you start exploring your desires. This is one of the most powerful tips.

5. Start Pursuing Your Dream

Another powerful tip is to start pursuing your dream. Live the life you want to live NOW. Become that entrepreneur, attend that meetup, work those small jobs until you can save enough for your own car. The clock is ticking everyday, and if you are not living the life you desire, you will become spiteful in your older years and be extremely unfulfilled.

However, when you start pursuing your dream life takes on a whole new meaning. Colors are more vibrant, work is more enjoyable, people are less impressionable on you. This builds confidence as well because you are experiencing your passion first hand. How could you not be confident that you can direct your own life?


When you’re learning how to build self-confidence you need to have faith in yourself. Trust your intuition, that fire in your belly that told you to check out this article. Your intuition is the most important human faculty you possess. It is your spirit, the primal consciousness guiding you towards your destiny. It knows that you must make mistakes to grow stronger, that you are already perfect as you are, and that you can only become more beautiful.

Using breathing exercises can connect you with your intuitive self. Deep breathing puts us in touch with the body. Focus on the heart and chest, where human intuition lies. Get in touch with your primal conscious and notice how you feel as you tap into yourself. This is your power. Remain with it and nurture this relationship with yourself for the rest of your life.


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Like most people I was interested in improving my lot in life. After watching "The Secret" I was hooked on finding out more and I want to share my findings with as many people as possible. "To give is to receive" so pass it forward.

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